This desecration of the title of one of my favourite Adele songs annoyed me just a little. As much as I like to see that a British artist is doing so well in a different continent (her most recent album, 21, is just as big here as it is in every other part of the world), I don't like to see it graffitied onto the side of a school in such a way that pretty much somes up the nonchalant attitude people have to HIV. But then I suppose if half the people in your village have it, it must be quite easy to not give it a second thought. Or not. Different world this, really.
And it is different. Travelling along the south coast of SA is like walking through a tunnel that has been hotboxed by a rasta who is trying to burn his ganger supplies before the police come. You can't move without weed being in the air somewhere. I went on a cheeky hike in the jungle (yeah I didn't know there was a jungle here either, but there is) and our guide had to have a joint at 9.00 in the morning to give him the energy to climb up a big hill. It reminded me of being in the Himalayas where our sherpas used to chainsmoke cigarettes they had named 'stamina sticks'.
I have declined to add marijuana abuse to my increasing list of vices, but the extent of passive dagga inhalation might be the reason for these epic headaches I keep getting. Or maybe that's the combination of too much beer and a diet of bread, jam and 'polony' - some cheap but nasty processed meat they all eat here.
Anyway being down here is like being at home. On my way from East London I travelled through Colchester, which was odd. It is Britain's oldest recorded town, but the only sign of any Romans I could spot in this Colchester was a nice straight road. Except this road had roadworks and loads of potholes, obviously. And then in Port Elizabeth I stayed in Southend. It was even on the seafront. Didn't have a pier though, nor any rude teenage girls walking round in belt-length skirts shouting alcohol fuelled obscenities at all and sundry. In this particular Southend they don't really say anything before they stab you.
So a long time on the road also brings out a few experiences. Like getting a ride in a local minibus where the area's pimp was giving his morning payout to his girls. I wondered what was happening when we stopped every five minutes for this guy to give young semi attractive girls wads of cash at the side of the road, but when I exchanged a puzzled look with the person next to me, she explained that the girls were getting paid for, 'The work they did last night.' So that was a novel experience. Won't see that again in a hurry, I'll warrant.
I don't know whether having a pimp in the car means the driver has to drive like an imbecile, but he did. 160kmh was the fastest we went down a 15% decline, and that was too fast for my liking. Especially as I travelled through an area where twenty people had died on an identical bus the day before. It's a risky business taking local transport, I'll tell you that much. I did have to be held back by three fellow passengers the other day after I got so annoyed with one particular bus conductor trying to charge me white man's rates. Not really the way to win friends in a new town, but it did annoy me. And he was definitely smaller than me.
Apart from that I am mastering the Xhosa language now. By mastering I mean I can say 'hello' - which is 'molo', and I can only say that because it is the only word without any kind of clicking sound in. It's a ridiculous language and I'm glad everyone speaks English. Mind you I'm in a town where they only speak Arikaans now and that isn't much easier. The people who speak it are all white and as a result have significantly less patience. And don't like it when I refer to them as either 'saffers' or 'boers', pronouncing the latter 'bore', as in 'Anglo-Boer War'. Which we won after putting all the women and children in concentration camps. They weren't too happy when I brought that up last night. But as I lied to them earlier and said I partly agreed with aparthied they didn't mind me too much.
Anyway I'm doing the highest bungy jump in the world tomorrow. After all, it's not as if I have anything better to do.
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